If you don't know how to swim, learn how to.” - Pat “ What happens if Waterworld happens? Then you're fucked!” - Matt “ How rude. cause who's never wanted to suplex an evil priest? It's the American Dream, really.” - Matt “ I need more goat testicles, in my mouth.” - Pat “ Draw a butt, and if you get an erection, you may have a problem.” - Pat, quoting advice from Plague of Gripes “ Merchant Obama is the worst Obama.” - Pat “ I remember all the things people do to me when I'm unconscious.” - Pat “ Not all the things.” - Matt “ I'm looking at your vagina.” - Pat “ Can you see them? Why am I physically getting off the couch to look?” - Matt “ I wonder if the penetration of the Punisher.” - Pat “ I always ask myself that same question!” - Matt “ Learn how to swim kids. they're easy to catch.” - Pat “ Too bad your chainsaw doesn't have a scope, you fucking turd!” - Matt “. I'm mating with this joke” - Pat “ Everyone would be like, 'Pat, your dick is huge.', but no, it's not though.” - Pat “ You know what they say about fish with big mouths. and then I was like, 'fuck that'.” - Pat “ Remember when we played this last, and you accidentally killed the guy?” - Matt “ That's the joke I'm mating. so if I fuck up, I should feel really ashamed.” - Pat “ Remember when we said we'd never do this because the game is too good?” - Pat “ Now I don't speak Spanish, but I believe he is like, 'Suck my balls'.” - Pat “ I was looking at stuff like, what if we did a no-merchant run. No wonder this is Woolie's favorite Resident Evil.” - Matt “ That dog!” - Matt & Pat “. I can't just keep jamming Resident Evil in my whore mouth.” - Pat “ In fact, you get rewarded for animal cruelty. “ We gotta remember when the dumb moments are, and shut our stupid, stupid whore mouths.